I feel like I'm slowly going crazy. How can a crazy person go crazy, you ask? Give them a preemie baby. On one hand, everything is great and time is flying by with Little John making so much progress. On the other hand, every day seems to drag on and on and it feels like he's never going to come home. I have bad moments where I can't tell if I'm stressed, exhausted, depressed, or all three. Then before I know it, everything turns back around and I'm a-ok and ready to take on another week. I don't know how much longer I can take this NICU business. Unfortunately they say to plan on his due date for discharge, and that is exactly one month away.
The little guy is doing really well. He has moved into his new digs in Room 6, which is one of the rooms the babies go to when they're getting ready to go home. He has one of the best spots in the room, with a window near his crib so I can at least see some sunlight during the day. The feel is a lot different from room 2. Rooms 5 and 6 adjoin so it's a huge room that can fit around 10 babies, and there are three babies to each nurse. There are usually several other parents there while we're there. Previously, he had just one roommate and that baby's mom never visited (how sad). During my visit, it would be just me and the nurse which was fun when it was a cool nurse, and awkward when it wasn't. Now in his new room I at least feel like I have more control as a parent. I pull up a rocking chair and hold my little baby as often as I want. I have brought in the clothes we bought him so he can wear his own things. I also bring in the crocheted blanket I made him each day so we can snuggle in his own blanket. Pics of his family hang on the wall next to his crib so he has something to look at when he's awake. If he can't be home yet, I want it to feel as much like home as possible.
He has been maintaining his body temperature pretty well since he moved to the crib and is continuing to gain weight. Right now he comes in at a hefty 4 lbs 7 oz. He is also doing better and better with his breathing. They weaned his high-flow cannula down to 1 liter, and he has tolerated that well for a few days. Today after we left for the day, they were switching him to the regular cannula that plugs directly into the wall. This is a HUGE accomplishment for him. He can essentially come home if he's ready with the regular cannula, we would just work on weaning down the oxygen over a few weeks afterward. I can't wait to get to the hospital in the morning and see how he looks with the new cannula, and less equipment hanging around his crib.
So this all means that the little guy just has to learn to eat so he can come home. We practiced all week last week, and John and I stayed at the Marriott a few blocks away over the weekend so I could work with him at as many feedings as possible. He did really well--in less than a week he was opening his mouth on his own, latching, and starting to suck. I was excited to show the occupational therapist his progress. Unfortunately little JWO gets performance anxiety because both yesterday and today he decided to sleep and play during feeding time, instead of nurse. I know he can do it, the trick is just going to be scheduling. I can only be at the hospital during the 11:00 am feeding during the week because of the other kids school schedules, so if he doesn't feel like nursing, there's not much I can do about it. I'm going to spend a lot of time at the hospital this weekend to see if we can get in more practice.
We are pretty much all ready for him to come home. We've attended the mandatory discharge class and learned infant CPR, which I pray we'll never have to use. I've spent what little free time I've had amassing baby gear and washing his little clothes. This week we finally got a stroller and car seat. All I need now is a rocker/recliner so I have something comfy to sit and sleep in during midnight feedings. If anyone has a comfy old La-Z-Boy, send it my way. I'll give you a cheeseburger.
I know a lot of you read this blog. Several times a week I find out about new readers, and I'm glad there are people out there paying attention to my rambling. John and I thank you very much for your support. When the baby comes home, we unfortunately have to keep him quarantined for a few weeks to months (depends on his doctor's advice) because his immune system isn't up to par with a full-term baby. Since we didn't get to throw the co-ed baby shower bbq we had been planning, we're going to throw a party for him this summer once he's ready to start meeting people. We're thinking of having it at the officer's club at Camp Williams so we have plenty of room to hang, bbq, and swim. It should be epic!
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