2 pounds!

We've had an amazing weekend with the little boy. We havent been able to spend as much time with him as we did last weekend because we've been trying to balance normal life with the other two kids. Pinewood derby and a birthday party were yesterday, and we have to make them feel as normal as possible even though it was so hard to be so away from the baby all day.

I was a little down because we didnt make it to the hospital until 5pm yesterday, but it was worth the wait because the nurse let me do skin-to-skin for the first time. It was the most amazing experience to hold him to me for the first time, since my biggest fear so far has been that I'd never get a chance to hold him. I sat and rocked him for 30 minutes, and every bit of fear and stress was completely gone. We were a bit bummed that John couldnt hold him since only one person can hold him each day for the time being, but I was confident little John would stay stable on his breathing so big John could hold him today.

Sure enough, when we showed up this morning little John was bright eyed and bushy tailed. Its like he knew we were coming. We changed a poopy diaper (yay!) and after his cares were done the nurse let big John hold him skin-to-skin. Little baby sat there with his eyes open trying to look up at his daddy. He recognizes his voice, and I bet it made his day to be so close to dad. John got to rock him to sleep for 30 minutes, while I got to sneak in some kisses and some whiffs of the baby smell in his neck. He smells like his isolette, but its better than nothing!

Here's how he's doing otherwise: he weighs 2 lb 2 oz, though hes swelling a bit from his IV. He's been eating for 2 days and has been keeping it down. They pull a bit of undigested residual food out before each feeding, but not as much as they were pulling out last week. He's pooping a little bit which gives me hope that things are moving along. He's doing great on breathing and all of his other stats look great, so now they're just focusing on getting him to tollerate his feedings. He's gaining weight so well just from the IV, I can't wait to see how fast he plumps up once he's regularly getting milk. He's finally getting fat on his non-existant bum, I can't wait until its fat enough to pinch!

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29 Weeks!

My little guy has reached gestational week 29.  It is amazing how fast he is growing.  He's starting to put on weight so he doesn't look as fragile, and it's getting harder to count his ribs.  His weight last night was a whopping 1 lb 15 oz.  Only one more little ounce and he'll officially be a 2 pound baby!

He tried eating a bit yesterday, but after a few feedings they found that things still didn't want to move through.  They gave him a suppository this morning and a few hours later, he had the nastiest poopy diaper ever!  I had to take pictures to send to daddy since we've been waiting for this for a week.  They've given him another transfusion to help him make up for the blood they've been withdrawing for tests, and are going to give food another shot this evening.  I hope now things will just get moving.

Everything else is looking good, he's doing fabulously on the cannula and no sign of infection.  Hopefully he can stay stable enough for us to start skin-to-skin soon.  I cannot wait until I get to hold his naked little body inside my shirt on my chest, I daydream about it all day long.

Today I got to hang out and watch some procedures.  I got to hold his left hand and soothe him while they put in a new IV in his little right hand and removed another line from his foot.  Little by little he's losing his "accessories" and I couldn't be more proud. He's so tough, he hardly flinches when the nurses have to mess with him.  They had his isolette open so I got several good pics and videos.  It's awesome to compare them to what we took when he was born to see how fast he really does grow.  I'm so proud of him!!!  He is getting more and more alert too.  He spent most of the time during the procedures trying to look at me.  He's also trying to learn how to put his fingers in his mouth.  It's the funniest thing to watch.  He gets his hand up to his mouth, and then starts sucking so it looks like he's kissing his own hand.  He just has to learn to open up! 

As for the rest of the family, I think the kids are tired of hearing about their brother all the time.  They haven't seen him, and don't get to until he comes home, so they're pretty detached.  We are having a family night for them tonight for "Junk Food Friday" where we raid the corner store and rent a movie, so hopefully they feel better when they get some more direct attention. Hopefully John and I can stay awake for the movie, we're both massively exhausted.  I think we may just sleep in until 8:00 am tomorrow morning....wow, that sounds like heaven!

P.S.  I just got a text from John saying he's been moved to room 2 of the NICU, which means he's stable enough to make room for new deliveries in room 1....exciting!!!!

Breathe, baby, breathe

John is doing really good today. They tried feeding him yesterday, but he decided he didn't want to breathe while he was eating and they kept pulling air and a little blood out of his belly. They had to stop his feedings again last night. His infection has cleared up, and hes doing great after his 2nd transfusion yesterday. It just looks like things dont want to move through his digestive system.

The docs think he's just irritated by the CPAP, which is responsible for all the air in his tummy. They also think its giving him a bloody nose, which he swallows, which explains the blood. They've decided to upgrade him from CPAP and try the cannula again to reduce the air and irritation, hoping he'll tolerate his feedings.

The CPAP and accompanying head gear are gone now, and he's breathing well. Mom is very proud of him! I also get to see his face and fuzzy head which makes me even more happy. If he's a good boy and keeps on breathing, we're gonna give milk another shot tomorrow.

Other than that, he's doing great. I decorated his isolette with B&W pics of his goofy brother and sister, and his awesome mom and dad so he has some company. He's up to 1 lb 13 oz today. The small feedings they tried yesterday stimulated his bowls a little and he had a little poopy diaper today. It wasn't much, and it's still meconium. Once all that nasty stuff gets out and the air stays out of his belly, I'm sure he'll be a regular little poop factory.

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I can sleep well tonight!

Today was a fantastic one in the NICU. I got a late start because I wanted to stop at the office and get some work done. It was so great to feel so normal today! I drove up to the U in the snowstorm and ended up staying for the day instead of driving back to work or to my mom's, where I usually go between visits. I figured it wasnt worth wasting time driving in snow when I could just stare at John all day.
I got to sit with baby John for hours, just watching him stretch and kick and snooze. He looks so peaceful in there, i just want to crawl in there with him and take a nap. The nurses have been joking that he doesnt even know he's sick because he just sleeps like nothings wrong.

He is doing so much better today--his xrays are looking better and his recent cultures are not showing infection so far, though they will let them grow for a few more days to be sure. His belly is a little tender but they havent been pulling much air out of his stomach. They think they'll start feedings again tomorrow. Here's to hoping he can tolerate it! He had another blood transfusion because he's had to have so many blood draws, his little body doesnt make blood fast enough to replenish it.

John and I just finished his 8pm cares, where we were joined by Pastor David from our church. Baby is still doing great and his glucose levels are perfect. He also gained a few more grams. Its not much, but any weight gain makes us happy. He's getting so good at holding my hand his little fingertips turn white since he squeezes so hard. Pastor David tried holding his hand but he knew it was an imposter--he still liks mommy's finger best (with daddy being a close second, of course). We got a quick prayer in before we were kicked out since another delivery was on the way.

Man I'm tired but I'm glad these days are flying by! Ive got another full day tomorrow with visits and work and chores. I cant wait until he comes home so I have a baby to show for all this exhaustion!

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He's doing better!

So a nurse just gave me great news: other than the little infection, John is doing really great! They're pretty sure that the infection is not in his belly or intestines, and they may start feedings again as early as tomorrow as long as the air in his belly stays low. They've moved him from a suction feeding tube to a regular feeding tube which shows progress!

She told me that infections like this are very common, and most his age get at least 1 or 2 during their stay. Also, babies his age with infections typically end up on a ventilator, and the fact that my little man is on the lowest level of oxygen on CPAP shows that he really is the toughest little cowboy in town. He's looking a lot better since his transfusion, and seems so much more responsive to his surroundings. He was crying from a wet diaper when I showed up, and he had to have a blanket on to keep him from tugging his tubes. After i changed him the nurse let me hold his hand for 30 minutes. I finally had to let him go so he would sleep since he just wanted to stare at my fingers.

Man I love that little guy!!!

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One week old!

My teeny little super guy is a whole week old today, though it feels like he's been here for an eternity!  Each day has been the best and worst day of my life at the exact same time.  We're just trying to take it one day at a time, and find little reasons to celebrate to keep us going.  Making it one week is a huge reason to celebrate.

The lab work on his last culture came back showing that there is some kind of infection in his blood, though it appears to not be in his bowels so far (thank god!).  They have had him on antibiotics for almost 2 days now and he should start responding soon, though I'd like to think he's already responding.  His oxygen levels are lowering, which is a good sign, and his xrays are coming back without any bowel issues.  They don't think he's developing NEC so far, and that he's just not pooping because he's sick.  They've taken another culture to double check the infection, and hopefully we see improvement in that in the next day.  His feedings are still halted, but they hope to start them up slowly again in the next few days.  In the meantime, he's getting nutrients and electrolytes through an IV.  The mixture is a bit funny and gives him high blood sugar, but this happened when he was on IV right after he was born.  They just have to get the sugar mixture just right again and he should be fine.  Diabetes runs rampant in my family, but the neonatal endicrinologist doesn't think that is an issue here, and that his little system is just so young.  His hematocrit (red blood cells) levels are low this morning, which is normal for preemies, so they're giving him a transfusion to make him feel better.  They're pulling him off minimum stimulation in the next day or two, which is a good sign, and he may be graduating to room 2 of the NICU pretty soon.  He also had his first brain ultrasound this morning to check for bleeding, and that came back normal.  So, all in all he's doing great except for this blasted infection.  I've been panicking for the last 2 days since I found out about the possible infection, and am starting to feel a little better, but it's still going to be scary until I get the word that he's clear.

John and I are doing really good, all things considered.  We're both starting to work again today, which hopefully helps the days seem more normal.  It's really hard to not be able to be with Little John whenever we want, but we just need him to sleep and heal and grow, and have to take care of ourselves in the process.  I'm physically feeling good, and am off the painkillers other than Ibuprofin.  I absolutely hate the way percocet makes me feel!  My blood pressure still spikes up every now and then (which I have medication for), and I'm still seeing auras from time to time, but the doctor told me I don't appear to have any serious tissue damage so far.  It will just take a few months for my body to fully recover from preeclampsia.  At least my cankles are going down, it seriously looked like someone Nancy Kerriganed my feet the day I got home from the hospital!

Well, I'm off to finish up some work and will be getting back to the hopsital to change his diaper at 2:00.  Then I get to spend the afternoon with my other 2 kiddos, who I haven't seen outside of hospital visits in over a week.  They're worried sick about their brother and have a lot of anxiety over whether he'll make it or not.  It breaks my heart that these two little kids have to deal with something so heavy, though I know they'll rebound much faster than I will should anything happen.  I hope I can calm them down with the results of today and that we can just spend a happy night together, celebrating their brother's one-week birthday!

Keep it coming little guy!

We've been told over and over that this adventure would be a rollercoaster but we've had such a good feeling about everything we were unprepared for our first little setback.

Little John has had some digestive problems that have been getting worse. First, he had been throwing up his milk after a few days of feeding, and he wasnt pooping. Then his belly started swelling and they were pulling a fair amount of air, bile, and undigested milk out. They thought it was because he just needed to poop, but last night his bloodwork came back indicating a potential infection. Theyve ordered some extensive bloodwork, and we should have results in a few days. In the meantime they have him on antibiotics and are xraying his intestines to screen for NEC which is a dangerous intestinal condition. It doesnt appear to be NEC now, but its a condition that progresses quickly so things could change any minute. After my experience with preeclampsia, i'll never underestimate the speed of scary health conditions again! Just in case, they started treatment as if he has it (antibiotics, stopped feedings, etc).

The doctor who told us about all of this last night scared us to death. She said he wasnt doing bad, but he wasnt doing great either. I had been feeling so great about everything, it was just hard to hear that something serious might be wrong. I sat next to his isolette crying, scared to go home. I was really happy to hear that the Christopher's baby Emma had her first poop (she's a little 24 weeker in the same room as us). I just wanted our little guy to do the same.

We made ourselves go home and rent a movie after we didnt feel up to the date to see Green Hornet that we had been planning, and set a schedule for the night for phoning in to check (its too easy to stare at the clock and want to call every 5 minutes if you dont).

This morning we drove in to see him, our spirits a bit down, worried about what we'd find out. Thankfully his xrays look ok, and his belly is looking a bit better. Then lo and behold, I went to change his diaper and found some poop!!! It wasnt much, and the nurse said there should be more, but its some progress that i can be proud of. I can breathe a sigh of relief for the moment, run some errands, go to church, and come back to change his diaper at 2:00 when i hope to find the nastiest diaper ever. Keep it coming, little guy!

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Poop, baby, poop!

Today is little John's 6th day of life, and every day that goes by makes me feel so much more hopeful.  As I pump and package up his milk to take to the NICU for storage, I have to date and time stamp each container.  I do a little happy dance each time that date goes up.

He's been doing really well this week, far better than I imagined he would...now I can sleep peacefully at night knowing that everything is going to be ok instead of just hoping.  The doctors are still telling us that he's looking great, and the few problems he's having are perfectly normal for a guy his age.  His weight last night was 1 lb 12 oz, so he hasn't lost too much since birth (and is even up a whole .1 oz, yay!!!!)

He tried breathing without the CPAP on day 2, but it was a little too much for him that day. He has the silly habit of getting too tired to breathe (apnea) and then his heart slows down (bradycardia).  They refer to this as the As and Bs.  It's a bit unnerving to watch it happen, but the nurses are so good at what they do that I'm able to stay pretty calm.  They grade the episodes of  As and Bs from 1-4. With a 1 he quickly pulls himself out of it, and a 4 being when a nurse has to manually pump his lungs for him.  So far he's only had 1s and 2s, thank God!  He's back on CPAP because he wasn't quite ready for just the cannula, but I'm ok with that.  He's making so much progress in other areas that I'm just so proud of how hard he's fighting. 

The other issue is a digestive issue.  He's been taking about 4 ml of milk every 3 hours since day 3.  A small feeding tube goes down his throat into his cute little belly; at feeding time, a syringe of milk is connected and gravity pulls it down in a matter of seconds.  Unfortunately he started throwing up yesterday so we're trying to figure out what's going on.  Xrays show he doesnt have blockage, and quite a bit of air is pulled out of the tube before each feeding.  It looks like the CPAP is getting too much air in his belly and he's not pooping yet so things are just a little trapped.  They put him on a pump to slow his feeding to 40 minutes each, and they pull the air out of his tummy to relieve the pressure.  Now we're just waiting for that first good poop!  He tried to go a little yesterday, and John and I were there cheering him on.  It wasn't much, and we're looking forward to our next visit to see if he's had progress.  It's funny how bad we want him to poop right now because I know in 6 months I'm going to be so tired of changing his diapers!  If things don't start moving along soon they'll give him a suppository to help him out which makes me feel better.  It makes me sad to think of him with an upset tummy.

Well, I'd better get going to visit.  We only get to touch him 4 times per day when he gets his "cares" done--this is when he gets his diapers changed, temp taken, belly measured, weighed, xrayed, etc.  We get to take part in most of it so we get really excited when 8:00 and 2:00 (am/pm) roll around.  After we do his cares, we get to snuggle him with our hands.  He really has taken a liking to my fingers.  He prefers my finger over anyone elses, and will accept daddy's pinkie if I'm not around.  When I talk to him he squeezes my finger with a tough little grip and it's the moment I look forward to most of all each day.  Pretty soon he'll be off minimum stimulation and we'll get to be with him more, then we get to move up to "skin-to-skin" where we get to put him inside our shirts on our chests to hold him.  I almost have a heart attack from excitement just thinking of this, I just want to hold him so badly!!!! 

Until the next time, send happy pooping thoughts to Little John!

Time for a new name

Well, I've got a new name for the blog since bedrest was a total fail :-) 

I made it only 5 days into bed rest before little John Wayne Oldroyd II was born via c-section at the University of Utah hospital at 11:55 am on Monday, January 17, 2011. 

I had gone to my doctor appointment on the previous Friday to find out that my BP was dangerously high.  My doctor wanted me to go to the U of U for screening.  I was beyond devestated.  Marcel's bday party was the next day and I just knew that if I went to the U, they would keep me until I delivered.  I was ok with full bed rest for 10 weeks, but just wanted to make that birthday party first.

When we got to the U, my BP was still high (180/110) so they immediately put me on a magnesium sulfate drip to prevent seizures and stroke while they evaluated me.  Let me just say that Mag is the worst substance known to man.  It makes your capillaries open up so your skin feels like it's on fire and gives you the worst cotton-mouth, which blows when the docs won't let you drink out of fear of an impending c-section at any moment.  It's also a heavy duty muscle relaxer so everything just feels shitty, for lack of a better word.  After a day on the Mag, my BP had stabilized and all tests came back showing my organs were doing ok.  The docs told me I would move to a long-term room and I wasn't going to go home until the baby came--unfortunately they had no idea of when that would be (we were shooting for weeks). 

John and I made preparations to juggle work, kids, home, etc. as well as my stay in the hospital.  We spoke with the NICU docs to prepare for the worst in case my body wouldn't hold out long enough.  We were feeling good about everything, and I loved my new long-term room.  I was kind of looking forward to some serious R&R, though it sucked that it had to happen in a hospital.  Unfortunately my stay in my cush new digs was short.  My BP shot up again that next night and I ended back up in labor and delivery on BP meds for observation.  My BP went down, baby was fine, my organs were fine, and everything looked peachy.  I got to go back to my comfy room with the hopes of controlling my preeclampsia with BP meds for a few weeks. 

That night my BP again went up so my bed was wheeled back to L&D for meds and observation.  I was sure that it was just my anxiety disorder causing the problem, and that after I calmed down I'd be back in m room to rest.  Sure enough, my organs were great, and my pressures came back down after the meds.  Unfortunately my little baby wasn't doing so well.  He had been so lively for the past few days but my placenta had learned to rely on the high pressures to sustain him.  With the lowered BP his heart started getting erratically slow so they put me back on the dreaded Mag drip (groan!) to try to pull my pressures back up to a level that wouldn't kill either of us.  Unfortunately I started having strong and consistent contractions which just made it worse on him so the docs made the quick decision to get the show on the road.  Because this boy has never wanted to make anything easy on me, he was breech--that's head up, bum down, which doesn't work for a normal delivery.  He had to come through c-section, which is probably for the best since a regular labor & delivery would've been too stressful for him.

After a few songs of Bob Marley to keep us calm, I was wheeled down to the operating room in a drugged out haze.  Thank god for that, or I would've fallen completely apart!  The c-section was quick and John was able to snap a quick photo of our angel before he was whisked through a window into the adjoining NICU.  I got to stare at his picture while the docs tied my tubes (no way in hell I'm going through this again) and sewed me back up.

We had to wait over an hour before John got to go visit our boy and find out how he was...I was wheeeled in on my bed to visit him a few hours later but I hardly remember this visit because of that blasted Mag drip that I had to stay on for 24 hours after the delivery

So here is John Wayne Oldroyd II in a nutshell--He was born at 27 weeks and 3 days, putting him at over 12 weeks early.  He weighed 1 lb 11.9 oz at birth, but received an APGAR of 7, which is pretty stellar for a guy so small.  He breathes on his own and has only had a few incidents of apnea, which are completely normal for his age.  Thankfully he got in two rounds of steroids before he was born to help those lungs mature!

His home right now is the NICU at the U of U, which is also going to be me and John's second home since we need to spend as much time as possible with him to help him grow.  We're going to have to take this one day at a time, but hope to have him home somewhere near his due date of April 15.  He is so strong, and is fighting so hard.  He's only 3 days old but already he is my biggest hero.

Auras? Seriously???

I had a rough night last night.  I had held it together so well until John came home. Something about him just makes it easy to get all of my fears and anxieties out, which is one of the reasons why I love him so much.  After talking his ear off until 2am, I finally fell asleep for 5 hours straight which is a good run for me lately. 

When I woke up, the baby was kicking and moving like nothing was wrong (he's been pretty quiet for the last week) and I think it's a mixture of him being happy daddy is home, and him trying to tell me that everything is going to be ok.  My chest pains were gone, and my heart rate was up to the 60's.  My heart rate has been closely linked to my bp...my bp goes up, HR goes down, and vice versa.  Hardly scientific, but it'll have to do until my friend Amazon Prime delivers my new BP monitor tomorrow.  I also lost about 5 pounds of swelling from the full bed rest yesterday.  I was so excited that everything was going well when out of nowhere I started seeing Auras (those squigly lines you get before a migraine).

I get a few migraines per year, but haven't had one in a grip.  After the auras went away, the headache never kicked in.  This lead me to look up this sypmtom only to find out its a fairly dangerous preeclampsia symptom that COULD indicate brain edema.  I've called the Dr. and they told me to just stay on bed rest until my appointment tomorrow which gives me hope.  I'm really hoping it's just migraine related since my migraines are usually tied to lack of sleep and stress, which I obviously have in spades.  Either way, I'm a little disappointed, but this baby is kicking me a ton right now as I write this.  I'm pretty sure he's trying say "Calm down, lady!"

So now it's business as usual on my house arrest.  I have a bunch of work projects I need to work on, while I get caught up on some old Netflix discs that have been laying around for weeks.  Then I'm going to finish a blanket and cuddle up with my favorite publication that my favorite husband brought me yesterday.  SKYMALL!!!!!

Getting started on that list

Well, I'm sitting here at 10pm waiting for John to get home early from a trip to Virginia.  First and foremost, I must say he is the best husband in the world.  He always tells me that I'm more important than the Army, and though sometimes I'm skeptical, he is jumping at the first chance he's really ever had to prove it.  I've wanted him to come home from his trips early so many times in the past, for purely selfish reasons, so I feel a bit guilty even though I know this is not my fault in any way shape or form.  It's just difficult to separate my desire to have him come home this time from all the times in the past.

Back story--after 3 years of mostly blissful marriage, we finally decided to get serious about trying for a baby.  We tried shortly after our wedding but that didn't work out, probably for the best.  We've decided to try again on several occasions over the years (usually after a healthy night of boozing when our thoughts weren't so clear) but we managed to put it off for so many reasons--money, impending deployments, new jobs, our other kids already wipe their own asses so why should we ruin a good thing, etc.  When he came home in July telling me that a deployment was getting postponed, I immediately jumped on the opportunity--let's have a baby!  Before we could talk ourselves out of it, I was pregnant.  We had no idea that it would happen so fast.  We were told it would take a year, but it took less than 2 weeks.  John had talked about all the schools he had planned for this winter, and I immediately panicked.  I didn't want to be alone during my 3rd trimester.  He rescheduled most but just had one simple two-week school in Virginia this January.

In my first pregnancy I gained 80 pounds.  Seriously.  Most of it was water so I thought nothing of it in the past few weeks as I started swelling out of control.  Tests came up normal at my checkups and my bp was staying low so I was just looking forward to being big and bloated for a few months, and even bought the cutest maternity swimsuit (that I just realized I'm not going to be able to wear now...balls!) since swimming helps with swelling.  Frustrating, but doable.  The day I dropped John at the airport for school, my face was so puffy I couldn't recognize myself.  By the next morning, I had chest pains and a heart rate in the 40s.  I'm no athlete, my heart rate should be closer to 80.  I was terrified (which is funny cause I have a panic disorder, and even this did not raise my heart rate) and ended up at the hospital at my Dr.'s request.  I had a high BP of 140/90+ , when I'm more of a 110/60 kind of girl, but they couldn't find anything wrong. Blood and urine were fine, baby was fine, my heart and lungs sounded fine.  They thought I might be having some anxiety or was developing an infection in my chest--they gave me a shot of morphine and an anti-anxiety and made me sleep.  Since my BP lowered while I slept, they wanted to shrug it off and send me home with bed rest in hopes that I would be better in a few days.  I insisted that something was wrong because my swelling was so painful and severe so the doc gave me a 24 hour urine collection kit to pacify me. 

When I got home, I considered not taking it.  Who wants to collect and store their pee for 24 hours?  I didn't want to go through the hassle, and for sure didn't want to drive the specimen back to the hospital, but I did it anyway.  A few days later, I was feeling like I was getting better and felt like I would be off bed rest the next day at my follow-up appointment, but alas!  The 24 hour sample came back abnormal and bam! I was diagnosed with preeclampsia this morning.

It's not super common, and it's fairly dangerous for me and the baby.  The only cure is to deliver him, but he is way too small to deliver right now.  Since we caught it so early, there is hope.  With strict Dr.'s orders of bed rest we can hopefully keep the symptoms at bay long enough for him to develop enough to survive delivery.  As of this coming Friday he has about a 90% chance of survival.  They're giving me steroid shots to make his lungs develop quickly, and all of my blood tests show that I have no kidney or liver damage or abnormal platelets counts so far.  I'm shooting to make it 10 weeks, which would put him full term at 37 weeks.  It's an ambitious goal, and probably not attainable, but I like a challenge!

So what to do during 10 weeks of bed rest?  Right now I'm on full bed rest, meaning I'm only allowed to get up to go to the bathroom.  On Friday after we have some additional tests run on little JW, I will get further instructions.  Either way, it's looking like a form of bed rest either way.  To keep my sanity I've developed a list of things to do during to keep me sane for the next 10 weeks (fingers crossed!) of sitting--or rather lying--around the house:

Work -- Hopefully I can work from home at some capacity as this will make me feel most normal and will keep me from freaking out as much about money

Crochet -- I'm finishing up some baby blankets.  Awww, they're so soft and cute!

Cross stitch -- Finally finish those personalized xmas stockings I've been working on FOREVER!

Pay bills -- I'm a little more than obsessed with numbers, especially in monetary form.  This will help me keep a handle on things and keep me from freaking out about lost wages, at least

Slay my insane Netflix queue -- We all have one, and I bet you're jealous a little bit

Plan meals -- I can't cook them, but I can help come up with ideas on what everyone else can make me :-)

Join a preeclampsia message board/support group -- Scratch that...too depressing!

Learn a new computer skill -- I know there's an inner Photoshop whiz somewhere inside me, probably snuggling up next to little John Wayne, maybe?

Catch up with family/friends -- I'm horrible at staying in touch.  This is the one I'm least likely to do, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Learn a new language (German) -- You never know when it will come in handy ;-)

Shop for baby stuff online -- Amazon Prime is one of my dearest friends (the one I'm best at keeping in touch with)

Meditate -- I can will my bp to get lower, just watch me.

Write my novel -- I have a concept, a really great one.  I just haven't ever had the time...boy do I feel stupid for wishing for more time!

Start a blog -- I'm not all for starting the traditional "mommy" blog, but when I LITERALLY have nothing else to do, I'm at a loss for what to do with my thoughts.  Plus, I want to keep everyone updated, and again I must stress that I'm terrible at keeping in touch.  If you text or call me, don't be offended if I say "Read my Blog".  If I have to direct you here more than once, I will mentally punch you in the face since physically doing it my raise my BP, which is not the goal here.

So whew! After a marathon opener, I'm ready to draw it to a close.  Future posts will be shorter (we all hope).  Please keep me and my baby in your thoughts and prayers, as well as my long-suffering kids and husband.  I'm sure this is going to be harder on them than it's going to be on me for they are now officially my slaves--doctor's orders!